Since I've been back, I've had a lot of time to reflect. Each day a new thought, a new revelation. My eyes have seen and have been opened. Opened to things I've never seen before and opened to see things that I didn't want them to see before; not just outside in the physical world, but also in the depths of my very being. My physical eyes saw destruction, hopelessness, poverty, struggle and uncertainty. My eyes also saw how ugly of a person I am. Things I wanted to avoid became impossible to ignore.
It became impossible to ignore that I don't always live my life completely and solely dependent upon Him. At times, it's been completely and solely about me, and how I want to live my life, how I make my own decisions about where my life is going and how I want to be in control. Why do I not live completely dependent upon Him? The truth is painful to bear and difficult to admit. I want to find excuses and place blame on something or someone else.Why? Because the answer is that most of the time, I don't.
What would happen if you lost your house, lost your children, your wife/husband/sister/brother/mother/father? What if you lost all your possessions and only had the clothes on your back? Could you boldly say, "That's okay, all I need is Him?" Hearing stories from those who survived the earthquake say "It's okay, all I need is Him"...okay that they lost their only house, lost their soulmate and their loved one's and that He is their strength... it's humbling and convicting.
If we truly believe He is all I need, why do we live like He is not enough? Why do we sometimes believe the lie that something or someone else can satisfy the deepest desires of my heart? How do we simply forget that He is the source of life and apart from Him, we are nothing? He is my Father, my Creator, Abba Father, and I've lived life like he was just another person. I do it because I'm human. We've created idols to fill His place. Things that we desperatley hold on to. Things that make us feel secure. Things that we couldn't live without. We give those things a place in our soul...that place that belongs to Him. And we wonder why those things don't satisfy the deepest desires of our heart and soul.
We all have different needs. It doesn't matter where you live, what you do or who you are. We all need Him.
Colossians 1:15-17
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities, all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."
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